Oh here we go again!
The C word is out - it's November 1st and while I think I've avoided it until now, I no longer can hide.
Christmas (the C Word) is next month! Are you an elf or a grinch? The only thing that floats my Christmas boat is cooking -- so here's my Christmas Cake recipe.
Remember my recipes do rely on having a strong level of cooking knowledge, a sense of adventure and above all cooking by ESP as measurements are usually hard to find.
So, if you're keen, you're game and you don't own a measuring cup -- here it is!
INGREDIENTS:
Fruit -- OK I did say it was obvious, but here's the detail - buy the dried fruit that you actually like. Don't like figs, don't buy figs! But you will need about 1kg all up (oops I measured) -- You can use Mixed fruit (it has peel in it for a nice texture), sultanas, currants, apricots, figs, prunes whatever collection takes your fancy.
Nuts -- I use pecans, walnuts, cashews, macadamias - pretty much whatever I like when I do the shopping. But, this is your cake! Don't like nuts? Got an allergy? Leave them out! But always marinate them with the fruit. Everyone likes nut liquor.
Butter -- GOOD butter. This is a cake that gets made once a year and shared with your nearest & dearest, don't go cheap. Yes butter has different quality levels. Go for a good 500gm block of unsalted. Why unsalted? You want to taste butter in your cake not salt.
Sugar -- I go for a Dark Brown because it tastes divine. Mix 50/50 with a coffee crystal or Demerara to add some texture if you like. You'll need a cup full.
Vanilla -- My first cake recipe said to use Parisian essence (gravy colouring in the 50's --- NOT in cake please!!) but I always use a Vanilla Bean paste if I can rather than the liquid. But be adventurous - got some Salted Caramel or other essence then go for it!
Flour - You'll need 2-3 of cups of Self Raising Flour for this one as it's a big cake. Why the inaccuracy? Depends on how much of "da good stuff" you add to the fruit!
Eggs -- 6-8 of some real big cackle berries
"Da good stuff" -- Booze/Alcomohol/Plonk! Now remember the old adage "If it's not good enough to drink, then it's not good enough to cook with". This is where I have gotten into terrible trouble with the husband over the years. "You used what in the cake?" - Yes his Chivas Regal has graced the taste buds of people via Christmas Cake. Brandy, Scotch, Whisky, Port, even a smidge of Kahlua or Tia Maria. You need a solid 1-1.5 cups of this. Can be a mixture of all of the above. In 2013 I used Kazakhstan Cognac, Grandfather Port and another (must have been a good cake) to recognise special men who had died in that year.
METHOD:
Don't start making this on the day you are going to eat it. This is a slow process. A bit like the 12 days of Christmas song, only done in 4 days:
On the first day of Christmas Cake
I dowse my fruit in Booze
On the second day of Christmas Cake
I stir up all that Ooze
On the third day of Christmas Cake
I whip and mix and Bake
On the fourth day of Christmas Cake
I ice and decorate!
This one is not for the feint hearted, so even though I like a good bicep burl using my Grandma's wooden spoon, this is not the recipe to do it on.
Chop up the butter and let it get a bit soft, then add it to the mixing bowl with the sugar and vanilla. Like the song says "Whip it! Whip it good!" It will look beautiful. Turn the mixer down in speed and add the eggs one at a time. It should just start to split, that's why 6-8 eggs because they are all different.
If you have a technical beater and want to change blades from creamer to beater then now's the time. If someone is hanging around to lick the beaters, be a gem and turn the machine off first. It's Christmas.
Throw everything else in and mix it slowly to combine it. Faster may sound fun, but you'll be dusting flour off the kitchen ceiling at Easter.
Now the tin -- It's the only time I actually do line the tin with paper and prepare it with more than a spray of cooking spray. Why? Because this will be in the oven longer than you'll wait for a teenager to get ready for a date! If it's not prepared you'll have crunchy bits on the edges. You can Youtube how to do this if you haven't done it before.
And like the hosts on those great cooking shows yell -- "Bake!"
The oven is around 150C as it's a long slow bake. It will take about 90 minutes depending on your oven, the tin you chose and all those other things that you already know. Did you notice I didn't include "preheat the oven" at the start? Like I said this is not a cooking lesson it's more of a vibe or an idea.
I used to decorate a cake every year for our gorgeous neighbours. Now this is not my forte as you can see by the photo above. I can do it, but I'm always rushed and they never look flash. But they always taste good.
Your local supermarket will have everything from pre-rolled (how damned decadent!) fondant to decorations, cake boards, coloured icings and Christmas decorations. Naked cakes are popular these days so why not have a naked Christmas cake? Bit less sugar never hurt. Or go all out and pop a slab of icing on top!
And Merry C word!
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